Defiant Repentance

The scene is Exodus 32.

Here's the command:

"You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God."

Exodus 20:3-5a 

Here's the transgression:

"So Aaron said to them, 'Take off the rings of gold that are in the ears of your wives, your sons, and your daughters, and bring them to me.' So all the people took off the rings of gold that were in their ears and brought them to Aaron. And he received the gold from their hand and fashioned it with a graving tool and made a golden calf."

Exodus 32:2-4  

Notice how deliberate Aaron is. Aaron is leading the charge! He orders the gold. He collects the gold. He carefully fashions the gold with a graving tool!

Here's the confession:

"And Moses said to Aaron, 'What did this people do to you that you have brought such a great sin upon them?' And Aaron said, 'Let not the anger of my lord burn hot. You know the people, that they are set on evil. For they said to me, 'Make us gods who shall go before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.' So I said to them, 'Let any who have gold take it off.' So they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf."

Exodus 32:21-24 

You're kidding, right? "and out came this calf"!?! It is clear throughout Exodus that although Aaron doesn't play the role to the people that Moses does, he is still an identified and established leader. In the absence of Moses, it is understood that Aaron is the default leader. That's why Moses approaches Aaron and Aaron alone when he comes down off of Mount Sinai. Aaron does a couple things:

1) In his confession, Aaron shifts the blame. He attempts to slide out from the weight of condemnation by pointing his finger at the people. They made me do it! he says. You know how stiff necked they are! You can't blame me!

 2) Aaron uses passive voice in describing active transgression. "He received the gold from their hand and fashioned it with a graving tool and made a golden calf." Aaron fashioned. Aaron made. With a tool. "And out came this calf." Now, according to Aaron, the calf fashioned itself, made itself, and emerged from the fire itself.

How often is this true of us? Even if we recognize our sin, we pad our confessions to God and to others with language that makes us feel better about it. We get just about as close as we can to our true discomfort zone--the zone that makes us squirm when we realize God's holiness and our sinfulness--and then press the eject button and float down to "safety" as we rationalize our failure through circumstance and comparison.

That's not what David did.

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my other conceive me."

Psalm 51:1-5 

No hedging. No pretending. No pointing fingers at anyone but himself. No comparing. David Unabashedly recognizes God's holiness and his inadequacy. This is defiant repentance. David defies every impulse in the human heart to slide out from the weight of condemnation. Its almost as if he's digging through the garbage can of his soul and flinging all of it at God. I think if we could watch David read James 5:16 he would explode in joy and affirmation.

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed."

YES! EXACTLY! David would say. The upside-down world of defiant repentance tells us that if we try to slip out from the inescapable anvil of condemnation like Aaron, we will feel its weight for eternity. Rather, if we call out to God like David and say, "hey, this is really heavy. Can you help me out here?" We will never feel so much as a feather of its weight because Christ bore it for us. Eternal condemnation for eternal joy. Because of Christ.

Romans 5:8. Romans 8:1.

Genuine repentance. God-granted growth. Effective sanctification. Effervescent Joy.